Short short story: Strange Meeting

OK, so I’m walking in Brighton one afternoon, and this guy comes up to me and says, “Excuse me, can I have a minute of your time?”

“Sure,” I say.

“May I ask you,” he says, “how you’re feeling today?”

I hesitate. Rather a fresh question from a complete stranger. Perhaps he’s a scientologist. With some reserve, I reply, “Actually, I haven’t been feeling very well. Why do you ask?”

“Have things been seeming a bit unreal?”

“Actually, yes, they have. Kind of floaty.”

“Your vision a bit like bad-quality video?”

“Exactly.” I am perturbed. “How did you know?”

“Well the thing is,” he says, “You died last night. All on your own in a cheap B&B. I’m a devil and I’ve come to take you to hell.”

“That’s absurd,” I say.

“But true,” says he. “Come with me.”

We walk down the Old Steine till we come to a familiar door. Over a crappy monochrome painting of a palm tree are the words, OASIS SAUNA. We go in and I feel for my wallet. The cutie on reception gives me a towel and a locker-key and says, “It’s OK — no charge. And there’s absolutely no limit to how long you can stay.”

COPYRIGHT ROBERT FARRAR 2007