RELAX

"Gleeful, impressive, unstoppable... might be the best 48 hours you'll ever spend in Weston-super-Mare." - Boyz

"Farrar's dialogue matches Orton in ruthlessness... " - The Stage

"Delightfully and refreshingly funny." - What'sOnStage.com

"Pure genius. Sit back and enjoy." - Croydon Guardian

"James Holmes' fine and committed performance." Attitude

"[Robert Farrar] breathes the same air as Pinter and Joe Orton" - Gaydar Nation

"Robert Farrar's play was my first experience of gay theatre and I wondered if I would stick out like a sore thumb with my girlfriend in tow but I need not have worried. The audience had more straight couples in it than gay and the play was good enough for you to forget any sort of inhibitions or doubts you had and instead just sit back and enjoy." - Croydon Guardian

SEE TRAILER HERE!

Read the Gaydar Nation review here

My new comedy Relax went on at The Warehouse Theatre, Croydon in March and April of 2010, directed by Phil Setren. James Holmes played lead role of Sandy. The production was designed by Martin Thomas. The poster above is by Garry Parsons. The promotional pic below is of model Shane, photographed by Michele Martinoli.

Click here for Michele Martinoli's website

Relax is a comedy about isolated provincial gay men devising elaborate strategies in order to make connections. It is set in a guesthouse in the West Country and contains references to my grandfather Kenneth Horne's 1942 West End comedy Love In A Mist. The development of the play was supported by the Peggy Ramsay Foundation.

PRODUCTION LOG

7th Jan.

Nine weeks and counting. James Holmes is on board - thank God! Unfortunately he’ll be up in Derby starring an a Pinter for some of our rehearsal period, so we’ll have take the the rest of the cast to Derby for a week.

David Bloom at Target (our press agency) asked me to produce a promotional image for the gay press, so I rang up Michele Martinoli and we did some pics of a sexy mechanic in his underwear. But a straight friend told me that we got the tool wrong. Apparently the large piece of metal he’s holding indicates that he is not a mechanic but a plumber. I am crossing my fingers and hoping that readers of Boyz and QX won’t notice.

12th Jan.

Yesterday Garry Parsons sent me his poster design. The background was orange and the title lettering pink. I said, “I absolutely love it, it’s perfect.” Garry, whom I have known for many years, telepathically picked up that what I meant was, I would prefer it with a pink background. Today I got the pink version, and my happiness is complete. It’s the sort of poster which a high-class Berlin drag queen would be thrilled with.

20th January

Seven weeks and counting. Last week I was going through my herbal downers phase, but our production manager Luciano is so efficient that I am finding, so my surprise, that I can sleep nights. The artwork has been finished and the first ad placed, in the programme for the London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. I'm very happy about this, because it means I won't have to stand outside the NFT accosting every punter who comes out with a cry of "Come to my lovely play! It has jokes! You'll love it! I spent literally hours writing it!"

22nd Jan.

Yesterday was the first day of the auditions. We concentrated on the role of the ageing houseboy (as you do). Who would have thought there were so many ways of saying the line, "My previous employer was convinced that human saliva is the best boot polish?"

Behind the scenes, I am staring at the budget and trying to make it balance. But in public I am on my best behaviour, all smiles.

23rd Jan

Why is this bloody play called Relax? I've never been less relaxed in my entire life!

27th Jan

I enjoy putting on gay theatre, partly because it's unfashionable (at least for now). There is a particular kind of feeling in a gay audience, which of course many straight people enjoy being a part of. I love the London Gay and Lesbian Film Festival - it's so social.

Marketing gay theatre is also fun. We have decided this time to make "shag-cards" to supplement our flyers. These will be business-card size and feature our pin-up mechanic boy. On the back, as well as details of the production, there will be room for men on the pull to scrawl their phone numbers. We will give them out to barmen on the gay scene, who I am sure will enjoy producing them with a flourish whenever a guy sheepishly requests "something to write on."

The fabulous James Holmes as Sandy in Relax. Photo by Sean Patterson.

30th Jan

I am so tired from all this Relaxing.

Sunday 7th Feb

Casting Director Danielle Tarento has done us proud, and we have finalised the cast - five genius actors:

James Holmes as the conflicted innkeeper
Tony Bluto as the ageing houseboy
Dominic Cazenove as the shy guest with an interest in rodent welfare
Mark Leeson as the bi-curious RAC man
Nadia Kamil as a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Today was the first read-through. We are rehearsing in an empty office-space. I talked to designer Martin Thomas afterwards, and mentioned that I'd love Nadia's character to be dressed à la Almodovar. Martin excitedly scribbled down some notes. I remember when we did Get The Guest for the first time in 2004 and James was so good from the word go. Farce has a clarity that is very soothing. It is a language that everyone instinctively knows.

Also: the first stirrings of press interest: I have given an interview to the Croydon Advertiser and OUT magazine have run the pic of Shane in his underwear. Or to be more precise, my underwear.

15th Feb

I'm getting together goody-bags for angels who have invested in (or rather, supported) the show. So far I have lined up a copy of a limited edition of the rehearsal draft of the play, which I am publishing on Lulu.com. But what else to include? I have contacted a massage shop in Soho called Relax, asking if they would like to contribute some discount vouchers. So far, no response. I have emailed a German company who make a relaxing anal spray (called Relax) and I excitedly await their reply. If I receive no word from them I shall ring the National Trust and see if I can blag a batch of their very nice lavender-scented Relax room-freshener. The other idea is boxes of souvenir Weston-super-Mare fudge. I have asked a friend in bath to see what she can find.

Also today, graphic designer Ian Estevens finalised the design for a massive banner that is going to hang outside the theatre. It will be clearly visible from Platforms 1 and 2 at East Croydon station, screaming at commuters to relax.

Feb 19

Three weeks and counting. Here are our first lot of press shots, showing James Holmes with Dominic Cazenove, Mark Leeson, Tony Bluto and Nadia Kamil. The photos are by the irrepressible Michele Martinoli.

Feb 25th

Today I gave an interview to Gaydar. It was just one of those email interviews but I noticed that after doing it I felt so much better. Presumably this is because, along with the rest of the human race, I am an attention-seeker. Who cares that in order to experience the thrill of being interviewed I had to write a play, find a theatre and pay a press agent an undisclosable sum? - it still felt good. Afterwards I sat back and noticed that I was breathing properly again. Big, deep, satisfied breaths. Ah, Reader! - the oxygen of publicity!

The irony is that one spends nine-tenths of one's life gasping for that oxygen, and then the play goes on and one positively hyper-ventilates. There is, I would argue, no literary form quite as exposing to a writer as a play. (No-one cares who wrote a movie, and books don't have opening nights). Playwrights are like Shakespeare's rats that "ravined down their proper bane." We gasp for it, we lie, cheat and steal for it - and then when it comes we run screaming from it.

I can't decide whether this entry is a sober record of my production (ie, a plog) or a philosophical nugget (ie, a blog). So I shall put it on both pages.

2nd March

Trailer posted on You Tube. Giant banner affixed to side of theatre. Yesterday, I wrote draft 6.6, and today, draft 6.7. That's how fast things get! I walked into the rehearsal room today and the actors were smiling at me, so I think they like the re-writes. People think that actors get flustered by re-writes, and of course some of them do, but most actors get off on the feeling of work being created in the moment, with their involvement. I write my re-writes to suit the actors we're working with. They're involved in the creation of these characters.

click here to see the lovely trailer

March 8th

Today I go to Clapham to buy a wig for the role of the ageing houseboy. Four days and counting.

(A more philosophical account of my wig-buying trip is posted on my blog - link below)

my blog is here

March 9th

Three days and counting. Our big ad appears in Time Out. The furniture arrives on the set. Steve Lowe instigates his lighting design: warm and charming. I work Facebook.

March 10th

Two days and counting. We decide not to put Tony Bluto in a wig. He promises to get his hair dyed by tomorrow lunchtime - now that's what I call a helpful actor.

The programmes are delivered to the theatre. I open one up and ruefully note that the picture of me is across a crease. Getting careless, Mr Bond!

The space is perfect for the play. The accoustics are good - you can hear a pin drop.

James Holmes is on deliriously good form and there isn't a weak link in the cast.

I hope you are enjoying these photos showing the set gradually forming. I am pleased to be able to announce that it has six doors.

March 11th

Tony arrives with a peroxide quiff and we all reminisce about the good old days of Sieg Sieg Sputnik. Michele Martinoli comes in and photographs our dress rehearsal. She claims to have taken 700 photos.

Phil and I make a last-minute cut, a brutal axing of three pages of dialogue. The cast takes it well.

"Is it any particular topic you feel ignorant about, or is it just general ignorance?" James Holmes and Mark Leeson

"You can't go back out into the fog - you could die!" Dominic Cazenove and Tony Bluto

"... and I forgot my pills!" Nadia Kamil as Mari-Claire

"She liked it at first - the grime. But then it got on her tablecloth..." Mark Leeson as Mike.

"When will I be free to be me?" Tony Bluto as Bijan

"My first rule is, never fraternise with the guests..." James Holmes as Sandy

"Can I take you out to an arthouse cinema?" Dominic Cazenove and Nadia Kamil

"... as the bishop said to the actress..." Mark Leeson as Mike

"Hello Gemini Lodge - can I help you in any way at all?" - Tony Bluto as Bijan

(All production photos by Michele Martinoli)